That Self Reliance Inside of Myself that Keeps Me from Reaching Out
That self-reliance inside of myself,
a sturdy wall,
built from bricks of solitude and silent strength,
casts shadows on the paths I might tread,
uncharted roads where hands could grasp,
but I stand firm in my fortress of independence,
a lone tree weathering the storm.
I hear whispers
in the soft light of dawn,
calling me from the edges of the known,
but my heart,
like an anchor,
roots itself deeper into the soil of my conviction.
I wear my solitude like a cloak,
woven from threads of past struggles,
an armor against unseen vulnerabilities.
I marvel at the laughter,
the dance of connection unfurling around me,
the warmth of shared moments,
but still, I hold back,
caught in a dance with my own reflection.
It is a gentle tug,
a profound ache,
to wish for a kindred voice,
to long for an open hand.
Yet here,
within the quiet chambers of my mind,
I cultivate a garden of self-sufficiency.
I pluck the weeds of doubt,
nurturing blooms of resilience,
each petal a testament
to the journeys I have embraced alone,
each leaf a victory of solitude.
What is it they say,
that reaching out is a sign of strength?
Yet in the silence,
I find my power,
like a river carving its own path,
unafraid to sweep away loose stones,
seeking the essence of its course,
unwavering in its solitary flow.
I seek not to drown in a sea of company,
but to navigate this vastness
with the compass of my own heart,
though the tidal wave of loneliness
sometimes crashes against my shore.
I stand firm,
grounded like the mountains,
bearing witness to the ebb and flow
of emotions too tangled to unravel.
In this cocoon of quiet resolve,
I craft my own symphony,
each note a reflection of my journey,
the highs and lows woven together
in a melody that echoes through the years.
Could I invite another to listen?
Could I allow the harmony to expand?
Yet still,
the thought drifts away like clouds,
and I hold fast to my solitude,
a shield, a sanctuary.
The sun dips low on the horizon,
casting long shadows
of dreams not shared,
yet still, in this quiet,
there is comfort,
and I find solace in the spaces I occupy,
the breaths I take in the stillness.
I wonder if the world outside
could lift me in its folds,
if reaching out means
I must relinquish this tender hold
on the self-reliance I’ve nurtured.
So here, I linger,
between the known and the unknown,
craving connection,
yet afraid to bridge the gap,
the distance stretching like a vast ocean,
each wave a reminder
of the shore yet to be touched.
But maybe,
just maybe,
there’s beauty in the tension,
an intertwining of paths
that could lead to shared skies,
and perhaps, somewhere in the distance,
I can learn that self-reliance
can coexist with the sweetness of togetherness,
that reaching out doesn’t mean letting go,
that within that grasp,
there’s a new strength to be found.
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